Let the chips fall where they may
Forty Two years in this body and in this mind I have lived
Some memories are forever imprinted in my soul similar to friendships, bonds and connections that eventually fade away but when thought of, send a burn of joy or pain through my being.
To say that I have experienced love as deeply as it can be experienced would be some of my truth.
I have experienced betrayal and envy equally so and loss has worn me down to the marrow in my bones.
I look at my image and run my fingers over the lines in my face that tell thousands of stories. I grasp the roundness of my belly, a hollow mass where life once lived. My gray hair tells the stories that I can't bear to speak about.
Times have come when I reflect quietly and wonder. What is left to go through on this earth for me? I shutter at some of the possibilities and smile deeply at others. I am reminded in an instant that everything I have learned in this life has left some print on me. There must be room for more since I am still here.
The secret to my strength is that I have none. The pores of my skin absorb the poison and the antidote equally. I am loved and I am hated for it. I no longer have the energy to fight for the right to be me. I don't carry the interest to prove anything.
I alone am responsible for the eyes I choose to see through. Sometimes the fog is my clarity. Sometimes I dance in the storm as if it were a light wind. Sometimes I bask in the sunshine.
