Blood Ties

This week in my moments of meditation. I have been been thinking deeply about family. Sometimes because of circumstances we tend to feel closer and relate to people whom we do not share DNA with and we often feel as though those relationships are far more valuable for us. I think it is a way of honoring and loving ourselves by making the choice to be open to those who breathe what we feel is positive or necessary in our lives even if they do not share our blood. I do not discredit this at all and certainly I have found comfort and solace in these types of relationships. When they no longer serve their purpose there is ease in letting them go and acknowledging the need to move on.

Our blood relatives can be very difficult. Especially when we feel forced to live with or deal with them. Sometimes when we want to let go we are so rooted to them it seems almost impossible. As a girl I was forced to live with and "respect" a blood relative who was violating me in the most heinous ways a young girl can be violated. I have witnessed more slander, envy, malice and ill will among some of my blood relatives than I have strangers. So I asked myself. Why on earth should I honor these people?

Then I reminded myself as I must do often that the Divine is in all things. I just had to sit and listen.

My ancestors made decisions and handed the reality of some of those decisions down to me. My blood relatives are a gift. They have taught me more than anyone the power of love and the power of forgiveness. They have forced me to face and embrace compassion. They have taught me how to be there with someone with true empathy through hardships and how to weather the storm. They have shown me my most ugliest self and what is beautiful about me. They always offer me the opportunity to get back up when I have fallen from grace. There is something down right holy in the unspoken understanding that we have.

My family, my blood is a treasure chest of life and love and all of its goodness and truth. Honoring them is not only honoring myself but honoring my ancestors. This is why I must obey and honor the tie of blood and kinship. Even at times when I want to cut it. A wise man once told me that a tree will die if you cut its roots. I have realized that in order to be a beautiful tree full of life, I must find a way to nourish and water the root instead.

The Conspiracy In The Conspiracy

It has become the new trend. Conspiracies are everywhere. "They" are out to get us. "They" want us to be blind to their schemes and manipulation. "They" have us believing their propaganda. "They" have enslaved us. "They" are behind everything poisonous and dangerous.

I am concerned now. I am not as much concerned with "Them" as I am with the people who have joined the movement against "Them". I will be the first to admit that there are many things corrupt in this world. I will also tell you that I believe on some level corruption is necessary. I am a believer in The Divine and therefore I believe that the Divine is in all things, including corruption. The corruption, in the way I see it,  has been created for no other use but to draw mankind to his purpose and his Creator. Now I know for some people I am a bit off my rocker and that is okay. The reason I am explaining this is because I am more afraid of the zealous belief in US vs THEM. The separation. The we are the righteous and we know the truth and you little stupid people over there are being misled by "Them"....Sound familiar? It does to me also. Sounds a bit like false religion and the many faces of self loving ego.

I am an advocate of being educated. I am an advocate of eating healthy. I am an advocate of being knowledgeable and aware. I am an advocate of digging deeper. I am an advocate of making the right choices for me. I do not advocate being arrogant to the point of thinking that what is right for me is right for everyone else I come in contact with. I do not advocate that somehow if they refuse to follow or engage in my way they are less than I am.

I once engaged in ignorance. I ate very unhealthy. I walked around unaware. I felt at ease with a surface mind and empty thoughts. At times I still engage in these habits and behaviors.

I still want love and acceptance. I still want forgiveness. I still want validation that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my life. I still want to be led to truth through the Divine however the Divine chooses to speak that truth to me, even if it is through "Them". I still want the freedom to choose what is good and true, not have it forced out of me or made to feel so guilty I falsely submit.

I guess I am a believer that I am responsible, me, not "Them" for my life, for my choices, for my beliefs.