Loving The Man

There came this point in our union, years ago, near the beginning where I contemplated walking away from our relationship. There were no major issues going on. There was no abuse. There was no major financial difficulties.There were no issues of infidelity. I just felt like we were not compatible. I wasn't unhappy, I was just afraid of what I felt like was the inevitable.

My man and I are from two completely different worlds and to top it off he has a very strong masculine energy and I have a very strong feminine energy. I came into our relationship a very picky person. The smallest thing would aggravate me and cause me distress. I could not stand for things to be messy. I wanted to talk about everything. If I felt any hint of uneasiness I felt it needed to be addressed right away. I was willing to sit up all night if necessary to work it out. My man on the other hand was a very quiet and shy man especially verbally. He worked things out by doing stuff, fixing things and thinking it through alone. He felt like the long talks about issues were confrontational and he would shut down. He didn't mind messes and he didn't mind making them. He cleaned them when he had time and that could take a few days.

I realized that I was unsatisfied because I was caught up in focusing on what our differences were and how uncomfortable these few things made me. I sat with my feelings and I realized that if I walked away from this man I would be alone and without the many great things he brings into my life.There are just things about him I had grown to love so deeply, I couldn't imagine living without. He may be a messy man but he is certainly a kind man. He may like his silence but there is not a malicious bone in his body. He might not dress the way I like but he is honest. He may be clueless sometimes but he has a generous heart. Most importantly this man loves me. He accepts me with my many flaws, with my loaded history of mistakes and failures. I decided to focus on what works between us. I decided to focus on the love we have for each other. I decided to focus on what was good and common. I decided to love my man.

Since that time our relationship changed tremendously. I find such joy in the small things. I treasure our moments. I delight in him being him. I have learned that there is wisdom in his way. I may live in a messier house with a man who sometimes doesn't care to speak but I am happier than I have ever been. Now we clean up together. Now we talk for hours about things on our minds not just issues that need to be addressed. I am glad I did not walk away. I am glad I decided to change my expectations and embrace our truth and love the man, my beautiful man.